Mystery SMSes? Not So Mysterious Outcome

Two nights ago, I received a text message that went like this:

Good evening. I got your contact from my friend. I heard you are very active, interesting and nice person inside so I told myself why should not I try to send you a message. I like to meet people like you. If you have this the same I will be happy when you answer me. If not after take my apologize please and be sure I will delete you number. Regards, xxx.

Awww, isn't that....? You fill in the blank.

Okay. Friends should not pass out other friends' personal contact information without prior approval or notification. Isn't this just common sense or did social etiquette rules change while I was neck deep in work last week?

So I wrote back. (I didn't save my text so I'll paraphrase.)

Thanks for writing. But can you let me know who gave you my number?

Reasonable request, right?

Of course, I understand you, but I am not in the position to tell you this, because I promised it to him. Don't find anything in it because there is not special reason...

I don't think I ever mentioned it on the blog, but about two years ago I was pestered with phone calls and text messages from a guy who claimed we had met during my trip to Nigeria in 2007. I have very few friends back there, so my social calendar is always slim—I remember everything, and I certainly never met him. For a few days, he insisted we had crossed paths; he also sent me flowery prose about our potential relationship. When he finally admitted to getting my number from someone we knew in common, it took another two months (plus more prose) to find out—not from him, mind you, but from my aunt who it turns out was covertly involved in this novella. Relatives!—that he had manipulated my cousin into giving up my number. How? She worked in a dentist's office; he was a friend and client of her boss. He saw my picture on her desk and asked if he could contact me. She said no, and when she continued to refuse he took the matter to her boss.... Classy, uh?

Back to the present. At text #2, I had to roll my eyes: Not again. What is the matter with these men? These shenanigans are so elementary school. If you refuse to give up your source it's because you did not go about things the right way in the first place. How about:

Your friend's hot. Is she single?
I think so.
Sweet. Will it be okay to get her number?
Hmm, let me check with her first.

Easy, easy, easy! I can't imagine why I would have said No. I mean, I'm single. VERY. But I still have standards. Ha.

My reply. Again, paraphrasing.

I'm not asking because I want to call this person you know to yell at him or her for giving you my number. I just don't make it a habit to welcome or encourage text messages from strangers who claim that we have friends in common.

My thing is anonymous meetings have to be on my terms. I don't start chatting with you just because. It's my prerogative as a woman to decide if communications can proceed. Just answer one darn question.

I am really not in the position to tell you this. I understand you don't like I sent you message, you are not open for talk and I respect it thats why I am going to delete your number and will not contact you again. Thanks.

Maybe he reads this blog, and now thinks I'm not so nice. Haaa. Oh well, at least this episode was mercifully quick.

My Morning Cup of Inspiration

In the past months, one of my favorite things to do in the mornings is to listen to something inspirational.

An interview from Oprah's Soul Series, downloaded from ITunes. Or a podcast from Ariane de Bonvoisin's First 30 Days website.

Some folks need a cup of coffee to get going. I crave a pep talk.

I got one this morning listening to a podcast interview on Ariane's site with Immaculee Ilibagiza, a Rwandan woman who survived her country's genocide. Her story of survival is amazing--she hid in a tiny bathroom with seven other women for three months--but what really blew me away was her account of her transformation afterward. Even after going through that horrific, terrifying experience, she was able to get to a place of forgiveness and renewed faith in a higher power.

Imagine the world with more people like her.

If you've got 20-30 minutes to spare in the mornings or whenever, listen to a Change Nation podcast. I think it beats scrolling through Facebook updates.

Cauky.

Addendum: Foundation Rwanda